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[13 Mar 2005|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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italy tomorrow. <3
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[08 Mar 2005|09:23pm] |
Abby! i'm in the process of making your livejournal pretty lol it's hard to see what it really looks like cause of all those test things! so i decided to update this for you so you can see what the writing looks like haha but i'm getting there! i think it's starting to look good. we'll see what happens :) and if i can't get it i'll have my friend do it for ya! <3 ya!
-Rach
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[20 Feb 2005|12:52pm] |
table width=400 align=center border=1 bordercolor=black cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2>
<tr><td bgcolor="#66CCFF" align="center">
Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male</td></tr>
<tr><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!</td></tr></table>
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[24 Jan 2005|12:53pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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The Killers- Mr. Brightside. |
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so I'm home, day before midterms b/c I am dying, well not really - but it feels like it. I've been throwing up since 2am Sunday morning... and I havn't felt this sick in a long time. I'm going crazy b/c I planned to study all day yesterday, go to school- more review today, and what did I do? Lay in bed all day yesterday, and couldn't even make it to school today. I'm going to fail these mid-terms, and I don't even care.... what is wrong with me? I hate school - what the hell is the point of it? Slant aysomptomes,trig functions, chemical equations, espanol, what year was hamlet written, where lincoln was shot..? I know I need to know this stuff to graduate and the move on to even moreeeee school... I guess I'm just sick of it. I'm frustrated with myself for not being totally movivated to study and do good on these mid-terms. Because I want to do good, but I just can't sit down and study - especially now when I feel like crap :( I hate the winter, and the cold, and school, and being sick.
oh boy. :-/
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| BETHANY- POEM FOR ENGLISH |
[04 Oct 2004|08:39pm] |
George Gray
I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me-
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment
Sorrow knocked on my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances,
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness
But life without meanings is torture
Of restlessness and vague desire-
It is a boat longing for the sea and
Yet afraid.
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[25 Aug 2004|05:28pm] |
lose one friend, lose all friends, lost yourself.
I know I deserve all of this.
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[25 Aug 2004|12:29pm] |
Hm.
Not going to be updating for awhile - taking a break form it all. From everything.
I need to think about things. So I need time to be with myself.
If I don't pick up my cellphone, its not that I don't like you- I'm just avoiding everyone for a little bit.
so. yep - thats it.
I really don't know why I even bothered yesterday...
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| :) |
[22 Aug 2004|10:28am] |
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mood |
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 still smiling like crazy :) |
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music |
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Ryan Cabrera - On the way Down |
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... amazing time yesterday. by far one of the best days of my life. I can not stop smiling. It was so much fun. I wish I could do everything all over again :)
thank You ;) You made it wonderful <33333333333333333 ah
thats all :)
Work 12-8 today. and another week of preseason starting Monday ... and then, the last weekend of summer.
depressing, but thats okay- looking forward to this school year.
I'm going .. too happy to think about school ;)
<3ab*
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[11 Aug 2004|10:54am] |
does anyone know when the preseason times for hockey are?
metz said 8-12, then 6-8 ---- > if someone can like, verify that for me it'd be Great! thanks girls!
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[09 Aug 2004|11:30pm] |
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I feel as though I'm breaking down. for no apparent reason...
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[04 Aug 2004|11:24pm] |
Intro to Art (scherer)
Trig/Adv Algebra (werley)
Intro. College Chem* (mulhauser)
LAB (day A)
Health (days BDF) Baker
PE (days C&E) PennyPacker
English 11 ( Parrish)
*LUNCH*
Spanish 3 (Montes)
Hon. Am. Hisotry* (Hoffman)
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| just thinking. . . |
[13 Jul 2004|09:06am] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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John Mayer- Bigger than my Body* |
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I always think in the morning anymore! .. I have to get up everyday at 8:45 now to take eric to summer playground, and I never feel like going back to sleep.. thinking is crazy.
lately i've been reading the LJs and even listening to my own friends talk about how their not having a good summer, and it really upsets me b/c - I can honestly say I'm having an awesome summer. There's never been a summer like this one. I mean, the beach with bethany - all those nights at Dans, going to the movies in Court's truck!, day trip with KC to the beach, working as a Lifeguard, having a good time w/ ppl from work, getting my lic.!!, visiting with Meg from VA, dinner for KC's bday. And even those nights where we just sat around- at least we were with ppl we loved <3 I may be sounding really gay - and most people may disagree with me and that's fine, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. but even right now, I am in trouble, and yet - I still feel like I'm having a good time. I'm just soaking everything in.. and letting it all play out. B/c I know eventually - this whole deal w/ my parents will blow over .. and things will get better. They always do. (haha much different from my last entry about all that... but I've calmed down alot)
I just wish, like - everyone could be having a good time - and yeah, pottstown is probably THE hardest place to do that. but it's summer. :D just forget about the little things, and just I don't know..
eh - :) just smile.
<3 ab*
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[11 Jul 2004|09:24am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Anthem of Our Dying Day - SOTY |
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I don't even know if I should be writing here, but I'm at wits end. . .
I'm just soooo confused. I don't get it. I don't get parents. and I guess I'm not supposed to .. but honestly -they just, frustrate me so bad.
I got in some trouble last night - and yes, I'm at fault - and theres nothing wrong with why I got in trouble b/c I deserved to. But god. when they say they don't trust me - it hurts because I've honestly been truthful and honest with them! I just wish I could make THEM see sometimes. I start to explain myself, and they just shut me down... not even giving me a chance, they just assume everything that's come out of my mouth the last month has been a lie. Granted, I may have made them think that. But it's not true. and I just get so, like - upset and I don't want to. I want to stand up for myself. But I can't- Parents are ALWAYS right. and theres no hope. So I'm stuck - just basically being miserable, while my mom goes and tells the whole family about the situation - making me seem like the worst 16 year old girl ever and I get constant talks from the family saying the same shit. I UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID. But do they think that? No.. b/c I'm Abby- and I apparently don't learn my lesson. And here I am crying, and I DON'T want this situation to make me CRY. I just want to move on, gain my trust back - however long it takes, and just live my life. But living my life gets harder and harder with them everyday. "Your attitude is changing" "You'r very short w/ us" "You excpet everyone to cater to you" - BULLSHIT is what I have to say to my parents. Fuck them, they literlly have no idea. and they think they do - where do they come off saying that?! ARGGGGGGGGGGG they make me so mad. Honestly, it's like walking on egg shells around here. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM and wake everyone up right now. I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE how they think they know everything. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. "Abby I know you have new boyfriend, why havn't you told us? " WHAT?! Where the fuck did that one come mom? OUt of your ass, b/c I def. don't even have a new boy interest let alone fucking boyfriend. And then she gives me that look like, yeah I know you do .. but your just lying about it. It's gotten to the point where now I don't even want to tell her anything b/c she already assumes half of it, and it's usually wrong. I don't want to be here anymore. Definitly dreading today with a passion. Family get together. GREAT.
someone kill me now...
enough. I can't even put my feelings into words anymore.
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[09 Jul 2004|10:30pm] |
one word -
wow.
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